May first has been my mantra for a while now. May 1st May 1st May 1st - which this year is the last day of the spring semester. Typically I try to NOT wish time away.... I want to live in the moment and experience each day. But this semester, I have been a bit more anxious to get to the finish.
I realized that as I was "wishing" my way to the finish line there were things that I would miss - and I do not want to miss ONE thing about Jacob's childhood. And so, I am slowing down my semester countdown and taking in the moments that I have left with my little one, because they are precious.
I had several unexpected conversations with some working moms this week. Each mom-child-life-work balance is unique, and I was thankful for their insights and learning more about what worked for each of their families. Sitting with our office manager this week, I looked at a picture of 3 grown men. She caught my gaze and proudly started telling me about "her babies". It was so clear then that my baby would be grown one day very soon, but he will always be my "baby".
My prayers have become more intense. My time in prayer has become more precious. It is how I recenter my thoughts, my actions and my imperfect self. As I reflect on "time" - where I am and where I want to be - more than ever it is not about me. I thank my Heavenly Father every day for the precious gift of being a mother.
Jacob has taken a few steps independently here and there but for the most part he prefers to zoom around pushing his walker, cruiser car or wagon. But my prayer is that when he decides to take off on his own, and he will, I won't miss that moment.
We had his one year pictures taken about a month ago. Here is a favorite - the photographer captured the first time that I saw Jacob stand up from a sitting position independently. You can tell how proud he is... And Andy and I were too. It was a moment not to be missed!
I think these years are times to hold on hard. Don't miss a second.
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